Nick, p.9
NICK, page 9
The lightness of his hand against her skin sent warmth spiraling through her chest, her stomach, and in between her thighs. The teenager had been a fantastic kisser. She could only imagine how much better the man had become with those thick lips—lips that parted to reveal perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth. His smile had always gotten her. The teenager could have gotten away with most anything. All he had to do was smile at her. All would be forgiven.
Of course, he’d been an amazing boyfriend. He’d been patient with her when she couldn’t go out because she had to study. Even when it must have felt like she studied most of the time. He would swing by her house on his way to school just to bring her favorite coffee and steal a kiss on the front porch.
He’d spoiled her for dating anyone else with his chivalry.
Standing there, looking into Nick’s eyes, Vanessa wanted to feel his lips moving against hers one more time more than anything.
“What are you thinking?” he asked in that low, gravelly voice that sent her stomach into flip-flops.
Vanessa managed a small smile. “You don’t want to know.”
“Try me,” he said.
“Is that a dare?” she quipped, thinking she would have been better off keeping her mouth closed based on his reaction.
His pupils dilated and his smile spelled mischief. “As a matter of fact, it is. Why? Are you feeling brave?”
This was the point where she should probably say no to end this—whatever this was—thing going on between them. Willpower flew out the window the second he smiled at her.
“Kiss me, Nick.”
10
This close, Nick needed no encouragement to dip his head down and claim those pink lips of Vanessa’s. What he did need, though, was permission. Since she’d just given it, he wasted no time.
The second his mouth touched hers, a bomb detonated inside his chest. What little resolve he had left, was obliterated in the process.
Her lips parted and her tongue teased his inside her mouth. She tasted like honey and dark roast coffee, his new favorite combination.
Nick thrust his tongue deeper inside her mouth, teasing and stroking hers as his pulse raced. Their breathing quickened as her hands came up to his shoulders and then grabbed on as though needing to steady herself. He brought his up to cup her face, caressing her, positioning her mouth for better access.
He swallowed her moan of pleasure before dropping his hands to the V at the top of her robe where he hooked a finger. For a split-second, he contemplated opening her robe. It wouldn’t take much. They were primed and ready to go. Nick was certain this would be the best sex of his life, which is exactly what stopped him from moving forward.
Because one question doused the burning flame…and then what?
What if they made love? What next? They would have to spend more than a few uncomfortable days together. Vanessa was in Lone Star Pass to do her job. She wasn’t there for a reunion with him. Hell, she hadn’t even stopped in for an apology in all these years, not that it mattered. Had he licked a few wounds over the years? Sure. Was he proud of the fact? No.
Pulling back, he rested his forehead against hers and tried to catch his breath. “This is probably a bad idea.”
“The worst,” she said through labored breaths. “I’ve missed those kisses, though.”
He didn’t want to let that comment go to his head. It did. Hell if he could check his ego at a time like this.
“Should we keep going?” she asked. Damn if she wasn’t the definition of temptation. “We’re both grown adults now. We didn’t have sex when we were younger for obvious reasons. We were too young.”
“You were,” he pointed out. “I was a year older.”
He didn’t need to be able to see her lips to know she smiled at the comment. He could feel her smile.
“Technically, a year and a half,” she said. “But I was stupid. You were my first kiss and you should have been my first…everything.”
What was he supposed to do with that comment? His teenage self would have jumped at the chance to have sex with Vanessa. He stopped doing casual sex years ago. And that was exactly what this would be. “I keep it clear and simple, Vanessa. I don’t do complicated relationships anymore.”
“Shame,” she said into his mouth, before she pressed her lips to his one more time in a move that caused need to well up like a tsunami.
He was going to regret turning her away. But he had to for his own sanity’s sake. Losing her twice would destroy him if he let her in again.
Before things could go any further or spiral past the point of no return—they’d been too close for comfort—he took a step back.
“Coffee,” he mumbled before turning away from her before he changed his mind and went for it.
Vanessa stood there like she needed a minute. It was his ego that enjoyed the fact she’d been as affected as he had by the kiss. In fact, he was certain this had just set the bar a little too high for everyone else. From now on, he’d be settling.
Then again, he wouldn’t lose his mind either. Because he could lose more than that with Vanessa and his heart was no longer an option.
Nick poured another cup of coffee for him and doctored up a cup for Vanessa.
“My clothes are dirty,” she said as she took the offering. The fact she’d needed to sit down at the table gave him more satisfaction than it should have. To be fair, first loves had a way of embedding themselves into someone’s soul.
“I can throw in a load of laundry if you want me to wash them,” he said, joining her at the table.
“That would be nice,” she said. “My suitcases are at the motel on the highway.”
“You could have stayed at the ranch,” he said. “There’s no need to stay in the motel.”
“Who was I going to ask?”
“Fair point,” he said.
“No one is talking to your mother any longer,” she said. “When she called and my admin put her through to me, she sounded heartbroken. Or maybe it was just broken. I asked about her family and what kind of support she was receiving.” She put up a hand to stop him from speaking. “No judgment here. My family is just as messed up as yours, if not worse.”
“I’m guessing she said no one had been to visit her,” he said, unsure if he was ready to hear any of this.
“Your father stopped by a few times in the beginning,” she said.
“How did the visits go?”
Vanessa’s gaze narrowed as she studied him. “Are you sure you want to know?”
Nick’s cell buzzed, surprising them both. He checked the screen. “It’s my father. He’s outside asking if I’ll allow him to come inside.”
“I’d like to speak to him face-to-face,” she said as she glanced down at her robe. “But this looks bad.”
“He’ll get over it,” Nick said. “Unless it makes you uncomfortable.”
“It’s not like I want to change into my dirty clothes after taking a shower,” she said with a determined set to her chin. “I don’t have a problem with you letting him in.”
Nick answered the door.
“Sorry to bother you,” his father said. “I saw the lights on and figured I’d stop by to see if you were alright.”
“Come in,” Nick said, stepping aside. “Vanessa Mosely is here. She has taken up mother’s case.”
Keifer Firebrand was tall and still considered handsome for someone his age, or so Nick had heard. “Thank you for seeing me.”
“I didn’t hear your truck,” Nick said.
“Parked it down the way,” his father said as he followed Nick into the kitchen area where Vanessa sat at the table. She stood up, clamped the top of her robe shut with her left hand, and offered a handshake with her right.
His father took the offering and gave a vigorous shake, indicating his nerves were on full tilt. For months now, his father had been trying to stitch up the broken family, starting with threading a tentative bridge between him and his brother, Nick’s uncle.
“Why?” Nick asked.
“Didn’t want to wake you,” his father said.
“Coffee?” Nick asked.
“No, thank you,” his father said. “I already can’t sleep.”
“Why did you stop by?” Nick asked.
“Mind if I sit?”
Nick gestured to his father to go ahead. Then, he joined Vanessa and his father at the table.
“She had it rough growing up,” his father began. He twisted his hands together. “It wasn’t something she ever wanted you kids to know about her, but…”
His father flashed eyes at him.
“I knew something wasn’t right for a long time but wanted to believe it was just my imagination,” his father continued.
“How so?” Vanessa asked, leaning in with a look of compassion that was too genuine to be for show. Then again, she was a litigator doing her job.
“The drinking,” he said. “I should have stopped it a long time ago.”
“Why didn’t you?” Vanessa continued, her voice a steady calm.
“Because I didn’t know what to say,” he continued. “She’d been through so much and I thought it wouldn’t hurt for her to have a glass of champagne here and there. Then, she started having a glass every night, which turned into several.” He issued a sharp sigh. “Rather than confront her, I turned a blind eye.”
“Tell me about her background,” Vanessa said, steering the conversation back on track. “What was her family life like?”
His father shook his head. “It was bad. Her therapist said she was like a flower that grew through concrete.”
“My mother was in therapy?” Nick asked, unable to believe it.
“Early on in our marriage,” his father explained. “Then, she stopped when we got busy having kids.” His gaze locked onto Nick, which sent a cold chill racing down his back. “All of you belong to us, but we used a surrogate when your mother almost died.”
“What? How? When?” This was all news to Nick.
“It was easier to hide this kind of thing thirty-plus years ago,” his father said. “Plus, we lived on a ranch and could control who came and went.”
“Are you going to tell me that she’s not our mother next?” Nick asked.
“No, son,” his father reassured. “Nothing like that. We just needed help for many of you to be born.”
Nick suppressed the question he really wanted to ask, like why they even had children in the first place. He decided not to ask who was affected by this news. “Did you ever think of telling anyone about this?”
“No,” his father admitted with a look of shame. “In those times, no one talked about their private business.”
The Firebrands had always been a private family. But still.
Vanessa didn’t want to lose momentum on learning about her client, and a possible defense. “Tell me more about your wife’s background. Please.”
Mr. Firebrand issued a heavy sigh. “One of her uncles took advantage of her from the age of five.”
Vanessa gasped. She couldn’t help herself. She found herself reaching across the table to cover Mr. Firebrand’s nervous hands. “That’s not just criminal, it’s immoral.”
Mr. Firebrand nodded. Nick was silent.
“It messed with her mind,” the older Firebrand said. “Especially when she confessed to her father what was happening and he told her that she must be mistaken.” He shook his head. “It took her four years to pluck up the courage to speak, and she was dismissed almost immediately because her uncle was a youth minister. Her father couldn’t believe his younger brother, who was so good, could do something so horrific. He decided his daughter was imagining the assaults. Blamed it on the kind of TV shows she was being allowed to watch. He was a strict, religious man. He couldn’t fathom his brother hurting a child.”
“Did he do anything to protect her?” Vanessa asked, now sick to her stomach. Being a defense attorney meant compartmentalizing her emotions, which was impossible in this case. She knew the victims and the affected.
Mr. Firebrand shook his head. “Your mother always had physical beauty, but it cost her sense of self-worth. She began to view herself as an object because that was the way she was treated.” He hung his head. “I have to admit, I was attracted to her from the minute I set eyes on her. She was beautiful. Still is. Even after all these years.”
“Your wife is a beautiful lady,” Vanessa confirmed. Finding common ground in an interview was key. In this case, she didn’t have to search far. Jackie Firebrand was beautiful.
“The abuse continued for years,” he said. “After being told it was a figment of her imagination, she started to think she was the one going crazy. The uncle said things to make her believe God wanted him to punish her. He also convinced her that her memory was playing tricks on her. It was a twisted scenario.”
“People who abuse their position of power to damage children should never see the light of day again,” Vanessa said, barely able to keep her anger at bay. She’d seen these kinds of situations more times than she cared to count. People always wonder why the victim didn’t speak up or keep speaking up until someone listened. There was a simple answer. A baby elephant that is whipped in order to teach a behavior rarely ever challenges its master, not even when it was full-grown and could literally step on a human. It was conditioned not to challenge at an impressionable time. The animal never knew anything different.
Nick shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell us any of this?”
“Your mother never wanted to talk about it,” his father said. “She was ashamed despite knowing, on some level, it wasn’t her fault.”
“It would have explained a lot of her behaviors,” Nick said. “Allowed us to have compassion instead of resentment.”
“She was too proud.” His father bowed his head. “If I could go back and do things different, there’s a whole lot that I would change. The best I can do now is try to be better in the future.”
“Does that include cutting your wife off financially?” Nick said, seething.
Mr. Firebrand’s face twisted in confusion “What?”
“Your wife said that you cut her off,” Vanessa repeated.
“Why would I do that?”
“You tell me,” Nick said.
“Hold on a minute,” Vanessa said. “Does that mean you didn’t?”
“For better or worse,” Mr. Firebrand said. “In sickness and in health. Those were the vows I made.”
“The visitor’s log doesn’t reveal any visits from you,” Vanessa pointed out.
“My wife refused to speak to me,” he said. “I thought that if I gave her time, she would come to her senses. She asked for a divorce, but I knew she didn’t mean it. She was trying to push me away, distance herself to keep me out of it.”
The way Nick sat there, clenching his fists, it looked like he was about to explode out of his chair.
11
If only. Those two words in the context of this conversation would haunt Nick every day if he lived to be a hundred.
Nick despised secrets. Were his parents justified in keeping this from the family? Maybe. Did that change the fact he wished he’d known? One hundred percent yes. The strangest part about this whole scenario was how little he knew about his mother’s life before the ranch. Then again, he didn’t know a whole lot about his mother. Period.
“This explains why we never knew our grandparents on mother’s side of the family,” Nick managed to get out through clenched teeth. Every muscle in his body tensed at this news. He needed to exercise to work off some of the tension cording his muscles. The kiss between him and Vanessa wasn’t helping matters either.
In fact, all this tension had him wanting to burn off the extra energy somehow. An intense workout. Sex. Hell, he didn’t care as long as the end result was the same. He also wondered what else his parents had decided to keep from the family.
“Once again, explaining would have put your mother in the position of having to talk about the past,” his father said. “It seemed easier to walk away and never look back.”
“Is she really from Fort Worth?” he asked.
His father shook his head. “Corpus Christi.”
“Why lie?” Nick asked.
“In case anyone ever tried to do a little digging around,” his father explained. “It would make it harder to find out who she really was and where she was from.”
“Were charges ever filed?” Nick asked, figuring he already knew the answer. It never hurt to ask.
“No,” he confirmed. “I’m guilty too.”
Nick cocked an eyebrow.
“We all play a part,” he continued. “I let her sweep it all under the rug, thinking that it was ancient history. I thought if we avoided the subject altogether, it would all magically disappear and she’d be fine.”
“This family has always been good at that,” Nick stated, but his anger was subsiding.
“In this case, it wasn’t my story to tell,” his father said.
At the end of the day, his father did the right thing by respecting his mother’s wishes. Nick could understand a victim needing to keep control of this much, when so much of her control had been ripped away before. “Understandable.”
“We’re trying to get better now if it’s not too late,” his father said.
The damage had been done. Could it be repaired?
“I don’t know how to help my wife,” he said to Vanessa when Nick didn’t respond.
“The information you’ve volunteered today will be a huge help,” Vanessa said. “It’ll give us something to work with to maybe gain sympathy from a jury.”
Nick’s father shook his head.
“Under no circumstances are you tell anyone else what I’ve just told you,” he said.
“I have to,” Vanessa argued. “Otherwise, I have nothing to work with and your wife will end up behind bars for quite possibly the rest of her life. If I can’t find a way to get twelve people to sympathize with her situation and understand why she might snap, they’ll throw her in jail for the rest of her life.” Her gaze bounced from Nick to his father. “You’ll cripple her defense.”
