Every witch way but fera.., p.1
Every Witch Way but Feral (Magical Misfits Mysteries Book 8), page 1
Every Witch Way but Feral
Magical Misfits Mysteries, Volume 8
K.E. O'Connor
Published by K.E. O'Connor, 2023.
This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.
EVERY WITCH WAY BUT FERAL
First edition. April 24, 2023.
Copyright © 2023 K.E. O'Connor.
Written by K.E. O'Connor.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
FREE BOOK
Chapter 1 | Something’s missing
Chapter 2 | Protestor problems
Chapter 3 | Troubled fun
Chapter 4 | Plucked rose
Chapter 5 | Vampire accused
Chapter 6 | Family connection
Chapter 7 | Rude awakening
Chapter 8 | A worrying fang
Chapter 9 | Missing people
Chapter 10 | Fanged fiend revealed
Chapter 11 | Young bucks
Chapter 12 | Suspects afoot
Chapter 13 | Snuggle buddy returns
Chapter 14 | Secrets revealed
Chapter 15 | Dead end to murder
Chapter 16 | Gothic cliches
Chapter 17 | Bite me!
Chapter 18 | Biting puzzle
Chapter 19 | What are we missing?
Chapter 20 | Secret identity
Chapter 21 | Soiled salmon
Chapter 22 | Vampire stake
Chapter 23 | Setup revealed
About the Author
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Chapter 1
Something’s missing
I glanced over my shoulder as I ran, shaking my head as I reviewed the disastrous results of my latest spell. Getting back more of my demigoddess magic was supposed to make my life easier. But this felt the opposite of easy.
What had gone wrong?
Where was my beautiful white tail?
I’d only been playing with my power, giving it a gentle warm-up, before letting it loose. I hadn’t asked for that warm-up to whip through me like a witch’s broom and remove my glorious swish stick.
I needed help. I’d been casting spells for over an hour to get my tail to come back, and as a result, my magic battery sat on the red line.
I didn’t dare disturb Zandra from her slumber and tell her what I’d done. That would only lead to lots of questions, and she was always grumpy when awoken in the middle of the night with a dilemma to unpick.
Before a hateful goblin had transformed me into a cat, I’d had no idea how much I’d value a tail. And now it was missing! And I’d been the one to remove it! I just didn’t know how or what I could do to get it back.
I glanced around as I ran, grateful for the late hour, so no one would see me dashing through the streets with my invisible tail between my legs. Such a humiliation.
What I needed was answers and no judgment. And assistance. I had to get my tail back before sunup, or questions would be asked. And I had no answers to give. Well, no answers I was prepared to give. One question would lead to another and then another, and before I knew it, everything would be out in the open. And that would lead to problems. I had enough of those.
My furry friend, Sage, always said never to keep secrets because they always came and bit you on the behind. But there were some secrets that needed careful management. And those were the ones I had to keep from my wonderful witch. For now. Maybe forever. I’d yet to decide.
I paused at the large, black wrought-iron gate blocking the entrance to Remus’s mansion in Oak Park Ridge. I wasn’t surprised to see the place lit up since a hive of vampires lived there, but the ramshackle tents and canvas dwellings set a short distance from the gates were unexpected. Surely, if Remus had guests, he wouldn’t put them up in something so basic. Remus loved luxury and shared freely. And from the looks of those tents, most of them had seen better days. I could smell the damp from twenty feet away.
“Juno! Is that you hiding out there?” My most wonderful fuzzy hellhound friend, Archie, bounded into view, his tail wagging and his tongue hanging out one side of his enormous jaws. Jaws that could crack a skull. Although he rarely needed to use them for such a gory purpose, since just the sight of him inspired toe-curling fear.
“Hush. I don’t want anyone to know I’m here. Not when I look like this.” I remained crouched, scouting the surroundings to make sure we weren’t drawing attention.
“Oh! You’re good. Everyone’s inside. We’ve got the grounds to ourselves. Come in.” Archie nudged open one of the large gates with his fuzzy muzzle and swiped his tongue across my head.
I almost avoided the tongue bath, but still got a little soggy.
“Wow! You weren’t kidding about your tail. It’s totally gone.” He sniffed my rear end and got a swipe to the nose for his trouble.
“Why would I joke about something so important?” I felt the urge to swish my tail, but of course, it wasn’t there to swish.
“You said a spell did this to you?”
I gestured with my head for him to follow me, and Archie willingly obliged. He was such an agreeable hellhound. Once we were far from the unexpected tents and the main house, I settled on the damp grass. My front paws felt naked because I was unable to wrap my tail around them. Archie joined me, his head cocked as he waited to hear the story of the stolen tail.
I settled myself some more, uncertain how to begin. “I found another piece of my missing magic. I’ve been experimenting with it.”
“That’s amazing! Where’d you get it? Was it buried like the magic I found for you? Oh! It didn’t explode and blow off your tail, did it?”
“No. It was a gift. Do you recall the visit from Acer’s family?”
“Sure. Her dad was killed in the park. Everyone was talking about it.”
“He was. And he was a magic finder and could retrieve anything lost. I’d asked him to help me find my missing magic, but he deceived me. Acer ensured I got back what I was entitled to.”
Archie twisted his head from side to side, making his ears flap. “So, you used your magic to get rid of your tail? Why? Are you trying out a new look? Some cats never grow a tail. I’ve seen pictures. Weird. Cute, but weird. They must have super cold butts.”
I hissed softly at him. “Absolutely not. I want my tail back. I’ve tried everything, but nothing works.” I flopped onto my belly and heaved out a sigh of frustration and exhaustion.
“I can help. Let me. Remus has a huge cabinet of old potions and spell books. He collects them. Most of them smell funny, though.”
I lifted my head. “I’d hoped there’d be something in that enormous house to help me with my situation.” Having been inside Remus’s home on more than one occasion, I knew he was a vampire of refined, if not sometimes over the top, taste. I’d also spotted a number of curios with a magical tang when I’d poked them with a paw.
“There will be. That cabinet stinks of old magic. Some of it even stinks like you.”
I bared my teeth at him. “How do I stink?”
Archie backed away a step and lowered his head. “Sorry! That came out wrong. You stink good. Just different from other familiars. Like old spices and smoke.”
“It’s not getting any better.”
“No! It is. I like that smell. It makes me think of deserts and pointy mountains made of bricks.”
“Pyramids?”
“Yep. Those. Good stink. Old stink. Loads of power in that smell.”
I understood where Archie was coming from, and he wasn’t far off about where my magic had originated.
Archie turned and looked at the house. “There must be something inside to help you get your tail back.”
“I’m willing to try anything. I’d also hoped to test a few combined spells with you if you’re willing to share your magic.”
“Anything to help. Let’s see what we can do. If your tail doesn’t grow back when we combine power, we’ll go inside and check the cabinet. Just be prepared for the whiff. It makes me lightheaded.”
“Strange smells I can handle. A missing tail, not so much.” I drew in a breath and slowly climbed to my paws. I knew I could rely on Archie to help me out of this sticky situation. I’d considered talking to Sage, but she’d have told me it was my fault, and I had to live with the consequences.
“What do you need me to do?” Archie said.
“If you have any salmon, I could do with a refuel before we begin,” I said. “That fine fish has been lacking in Crimson Cove since Sorcha’s café became plant-based. Fish is brain food! I’m sure I’m undernourished in omega oils, which is why my magic is misfiring.”
Archie scratched behind his ear with one large back paw. “We’re not big fish fans here. Steak, now you’re talking. Will that do? We have a freezer ful
“You get the food, and I’ll review the spell options.”
Ten minutes later, we’d both consumed a delicious hunk of steak. I was feeling better, and we were ready to cast our first spell. We’d relocated to a quiet spot in the grounds, hidden in the shadows of a grove of ancient red maples so we wouldn’t be disturbed.
“How does our connection feel?” I asked Archie.
“Feeling good. All tingly. Like a tiny fairy is tapdancing along my spine and occasionally poking me in the ribs.”
I tried not to dwell on the swirl of jealousy in the pit of my stomach as he wagged his glorious tail. “Let’s get started.” I pressed a paw on the small scroll I’d borrowed from Vorana’s bookstore, twitched my ears three times, and blew across the words, sending the intention of the spell into the air and surrounding me. The magic swirled off the pages and enveloped me in a chilly breeze that pressed against my skin.
I inspected my tail. Still missing. Not even a tingly suggestion that it wanted to return. I tried the spell again but got the same lackluster response.
“It’s not working,” Archie said.
“I can see that. I have others. Let’s try something else.”
The five other spells we tried produced the same outcome. The magic reared but failed to materialize my tail. Was I to be a tailless cat for the rest of my life? There was a breed of cats who never grew a tail, but how did they communicate their desires without a beautiful, fluffy emotion stick attached to the base of their spine?
“We should take a break.” I rolled the scroll of disappointing magic and shoved it into the small pack I carried on my back, so I could return it safely to Vorana’s store before she knew I’d borrowed it.
“I can keep going. I’ve got loads of energy. Remus is always telling me I need at least four long walks a day, so I’m not twitchy.” Archie bounced on his paws.
“I can’t. I’ve been working on this for ages, and I’m exhausted. If only I had half your energy.” I flopped onto my belly and stared at a tiny black beetle as it made its way purposefully through the blades of grass.
Archie huffed a smoky breath over my head. “We’ll find the solution inside the magic cabinet. I took a look while I was waiting for the steaks to heat. Everything is labeled. And the poisonous stuff is marked, so I don’t think anything will kill you.”
“Comforting thought.” I dragged my paws as I followed Archie to a low door at the back of the mansion.
Remus was an indulgent hellhound owner and had installed automatic doors in certain sections of the walls for Archie to use, so he could get in and out anytime of the day and night without disturbing the vampires.
He pressed his nose against the door, and it opened smoothly, allowing us inside. It was only a short trot before we entered an opulently decorated hallway lined with original oil paintings of various influential vampires and a flooring so soft it made me want to pause and make biscuits with my paws.
I slowed at the sound of raised voices, although the tone was more amused than angry. “I meant to ask, does Remus have guests? I saw the tents outside.”
“More like intruders. This way.” Archie led me past a closed door, where the excitable voices could be heard, and into a room that looked like a museum exhibit from Victorian England. There were a dozen glass curiosity cabinets lining the walls. Each one was full of different colored bottles, crumbling leather-bound books, and even a few framed scrolls containing excerpts from magic spells.
I took my time to inspect each one. “I never realized Remus had access to so much magic. Why does he collect spells when he’s a vampire?”
“Because I have a curiosity about life and power, you charming bundle of inquisitive fluff.” Remus Salamander stepped into the room, dressed immaculately in a soft cream suit with a matching waistcoat and top hat covering his shoulder-length blond hair.
“I’m helping Juno. Look at her tail!” Archie bounded over and got a hearty head scratch from his adoring vampire companion.
“I’m trying to, but it appears to be missing.” One corner of Remus’s mouth lifted. “Is that why you’re inspecting my curiosity room? You think your tail may be a new exhibit?”
I gave him a hard stare. “I’d better not find my missing tail in here, or we’ll have words.”
Remus chuckled as he wandered into the room. “Fear not, Juno. I have far too much respect for you to steal something so valuable. But I’m fascinated to learn where your tail has gone. Do tell the story.”
Archie opened his mouth to explain, but a sharp look from me had him clamping his jaw shut, and a gentle whimper slid out.
“Merely a spell gone wrong. I’ve been trying various ways to return my tail, but since it’s being so elusive, I decided I needed a little assistance,” I said.
“And of course, you knew Archie would oblige.” Remus’s tone was light, but there was an edge of steel to his words. He allowed no one to exploit Archie.
“We’re friends. Friends help each other.”
“And I want to help. Juno looks weird without a tail. I mean, still nice, but weird. Like a plump white badger,” Archie said.
I hissed at him. “I am not plump!”
“It’s the giant portions Vorana feeds you. She’s always shown her love through food.” Remus strode around me as he stroked his chin, a thoughtful yet playful look on his face. “How about feathers? You could fashion a beautiful, unique tail with feathers. You’d be the talk of the town.”
“For the wrong reason,” I grumbled. “I want my actual tail back.”
“We could fashion you a delightful false tail.” Remus glanced around the room. “Clive is handy. He’s into woodworking. How would a wooden tail suit you?”
I ignored him as I strutted around, inspecting the contents of the different cabinets, still looking for a solution to my missing tail.
“That’s a no to a wooden tail? You’re right. It wouldn’t be comfortable or warm. Although, we could clad it in something soft. What do you think, Archie?”
“I think you’re teasing Juno, and she’s getting grumpy.” Archie raised a paw and whined. He hated confrontation, no matter how mild.
“Perhaps, a little.” Remus bowed his head. “Apologies, Juno. It has been a stressful evening, so I’m glad for a diversion to let off steam. May I make a suggestion?”
“So long as it involves nothing made of wood that gets attached to my rear end,” I said.
“Wear your lack of tail with pride. You’re a stunning cat and one that comes with great power. Others respect you, and they look up to you. You may even start a trend.”
I snorted my disbelief. “You think other familiars will magic away their tails because I was foolish enough to do so to myself?”
“I’ve heard of more curious occurrences.” Remus tilted back his head. “I remember the trend for ultra-pointy shoes after the king was seen wearing a pair. And don’t get me started on Hennin hats, bombast sleeves, and bliauts.”
“Which king was this?”
“One of the Henrys. It was such a long time ago. How about—”
“I’ll figure things out. I just need to get used to my new...” I hesitated. I’d almost given the game away that my old magic had done this to me.
Remus arched an eyebrow. “Yes? Your new what?”
I waved a paw in the air. “It’s nothing. My mistake, my fix.”
He pursed his lips, not happy with my explanation. “You may look around my curiosity cabinets, but most of the magic is past its prime and unstable. You may lose a limb or an ear if you go throwing it around.”
“It could still be useful.” I eyed a beautiful jeweled wooden box with gold edging.
“All antiques. Collectables rather than solutions to magical problems.” Remus froze, then his eyes narrowed, and his fangs flashed into view. A second later, raised voices sounded outside, and they had no hint of cheer to them.
“If you’ll excuse me. My persistent problem is causing difficulties.” He turned and strode to the door, Archie on his heels.
“Problems?” I dashed after them. “You mean your tent dwellers?”
“Environmental protesters.” Remus hurried along the corridor to the main door. “Their leader, Gaian Scythe, has decided they’re to disrupt our plans for the Blood Moon Festival.”
