Every witch way but fien.., p.1
Every Witch Way but Fiend (Magical Misfits Mysteries Book 7), page 1
Every Witch Way but Fiend
Magical Misfits Mysteries, Volume 7
K.E. O'Connor
Published by K.E. O'Connor, 2023.
This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.
EVERY WITCH WAY BUT FIEND
First edition. March 6, 2023.
Copyright © 2023 K.E. O'Connor.
Written by K.E. O'Connor.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
FREE BOOK
Chapter 1 | Angel surprise
Chapter 2 | Daddy issues
Chapter 3 | Let’s do business
Chapter 4 | A rude awakening
Chapter 5 | No more salmon
Chapter 6 | Not such a happy family
Chapter 7 | Dating lies
Chapter 8 | The truth will out
Chapter 9 | New fluffy recruit
Chapter 10 | Triple dead
Chapter 11 | Sulky siblings
Chapter 12 | Will he, or won’t he?
Chapter 13 | Burned buns & breadsticks
Chapter 14 | Mama cat
Chapter 15 | Circling the suspects
Chapter 16 | Ganged up
Chapter 17 | Mission status green
Chapter 18 | Man down
Chapter 19 | Case closed?
Chapter 20 | Tail terrors
Chapter 21 | Family reunion
Chapter 22 | To the victor, the spoils
Chapter 23 | Happily ever after for now
Loved this book?
About the Author
FREE BOOK
Want to be part of the Magical Misfits crew? Practice some spells, solve a few murders, and spend time with the amazing talking familiars and their magic users?
And get a FREE exclusive book?
***
Then join the Magical Misfits weekly newsletter. Every Thursday (and on the occasional weekend) you’ll get news on all the cozy mystery happenings in the world of K.E. O’Connor.
If you love mysteries, magic, and a little mayhem (and don’t forget the talking animals) sign up today.
***
Grab your FREE book.
Chapter 1
Angel surprise
My paws barely touched the ground as I flew along, the scent of the weeping wind belter fresh in the air.
“Juno! You’re going the wrong way. Dumb, stubborn cat.”
I ignored Oleander Yockley’s harsh whisper. He didn’t have my finely attuned booping snooter, and I knew what I smelled. Sweaty fur and a splash of fear. The weeping wind belter we were chasing had dashed along this alleyway behind the stores in Crimson Cove less than a minute ago.
Weeping wind belters looked like adorable cats with overly large eyes, but if anyone attempted to pet a wild one, they’d soon discover the tears were toxic, and the small fluffy critters howled gales when angered.
Zandra Crypt, the most wonderful witch who’d ever walked this planet, appeared at the end of the alley and raced to join me.
“You got something?” Her face was pale in the moonlight and her dark hair tucked messily under a gray baseball cap with a witch’s cauldron logo on the front.
“It’s been here, recently.”
“Oleander reckons he saw it head toward the beach.” Zandra glanced along the alley, half-crouched and ever watchful for trouble.
“Then he needs his eyes tested. It’s the last place the creature would go.” Oleander wasn’t known for his sharp intellect or amenable nature. Although he knew his critters, which was why he was kept on at animal control.
“We’ve got to catch this creature tonight. Angel Force has been on Barney’s case all day because of reports of it causing damage to people’s gardens. They’re worried someone will get hurt if they confront it.”
I slowed, lifted my booping snooter and inhaled deeply. “Weeping wind belters never hurt out of malice. Fear triggers their attacks. And if some fool stumbles on a den or attempts to pick one up because they think they’re cute, it’s no wonder they strike back. It’s the correct behavior to deploy.”
“Let’s not have them strike back tonight, shall we? If we catch this one and no one gets injured, I’ll call it a win,” Zandra said. “And the sooner we get Angel Force off our backs, the better. Cythera has been in a massive grump for days.”
“Follow me. I’m certain we’re close.” I trotted along the alleyway then stopped. It split off at the end, going left to right. “How’s Randal doing?”
“He’s nervous. I left him with Glenda, checking the streets. She can keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t blow himself up.”
Randal Nix was an adorably geeky tech mage who had an enormous crush on Zandra. The feeling was mutual. Unfortunately, my efforts to get them together had ended in failure. Which was why I’d persuaded Randal to come on this mission tonight. Spending quality time with the witch he adored would make him see he had to ask her out again.
Zandra was in the prime of her witchy prowess, and she wouldn’t stay single forever. And I was certain Randal didn’t want to miss the opportunity to make Zandra his life partner.
“Which way?” She looked along the dark alley. “I came from the left, and I didn’t see the weeping wind belter go that way. Although I may have missed it sneak past while checking under piles of trash.”
“The smell suggests this way.” I headed along the alley, Zandra by my side.
Sometimes, working at animal control could be more admin than adorable critters, so I welcomed the opportunity to get out with the team and have a mini adventure. I understood the importance of checking licenses and ensuring everyone treated their animals well, but being on the streets, protecting an endangered magical creature from the idiots who may harm it, felt worthier.
There was a yelp and a loud thud as if someone had been thrown against a wall.
“That was Oleander.” Zandra looked over her shoulder.
“He probably slipped. He’s remarkably un-dexterous. Anyone would think he was crossed with an ailuropoda melanoleuca.”
“And that’s...”
“A Giant Panda. One of the clumsiest animals on the planet. Clumsy and lazy. They barely remember they need to breed. All they do is eat and sleep.”
“That does sound like Oleander. Although I have no interest in his breeding activities.”
I wrinkled my booping snooter. “Giant Pandas often trip over their own paws and end up tumbling around in a big fluffy ball. Humiliating when you consider it.”
“Get it off me! Get it off me!” Oleander yelped.
“Uh-oh. That sounds bad,” Zandra said. “Let’s go see what’s up with him.”
We raced to the end of the alleyway, and a chaotic scene revealed itself. Oleander was flat on his back, and the weeping wind belter was attached to his face. Randal hovered by Oleander’s feet, a metal spike in one hand. Knowing Randal, it was much more than a simple spike meant to stab.
“It burns,” Oleander howled. “My skin!”
“It must be crying on him,” Zandra muttered.
“Only because he angered the poor creature,” I said.
The metal spike Randal held emitted a pink bolt of light. The weeping wind belter leaped away, and the light slammed into Oleander’s head. He howled again and then went silent.
“Sorry! Sorry! It wasn’t meant to hit you. And I only set it to stun.” Randal stared at the spike then dropped it as if it had stung him.
“You think Oleander’s dead?” I murmured.
Zandra sighed. “We’d better make sure he isn’t. Think of the paperwork we’d have to complete if we returned with a fatality.”
Randal lifted a hand when he saw us approach, but his attention was all on Zandra. Too much attention on her, so he missed the weeping wind belter leaping toward him.
As it blasted through the air, it opened its mouth and shrieked. A wind whipped up and slammed into Randal, knocking him to the ground. The critter dashed away, back to the shadows it had sprung from.
“Where the heck is Glenda?” Zandra’s head whipped from side to side. “She was supposed to look out for these two and make sure this kind of thing didn’t happen to them.”
“She’s over there. Watching the show.” I waved a paw at a nearby bench, concealed in shadow.
Glenda Ridgeback was a powerful werewolf shifter, who’d been assigned to the Crimson Cove branch of animal control temporarily. She had a laid-back approach to her work, and from the looks of things, she’d decided babysitting Randal and Oleander wasn’t on her agenda.
“Get over here!” Zandra gestured at her.
Glenda had her left foot propped on her opposite knee and her arms splayed across the back of the bench. “Awww. Must I? It’s fun to watch those two fall flat on their faces. And you should have seen what Oleander did. It serves him right that sweetie pie jumped on his head and tried to kill him.”
“It looked more like Randal was trying to kill Oleander with the lightning bolt thingy he was waving around,” Zandra said.
“I didn’t mean to hit Oleander.” Randal remained on the ground, rubbing the back of his head. “And it’s not a lightning bolt thingy. It’s a spell particle enhancer.”
While everyone bickered about who tried to kill who, I lowered to my belly and slunk toward the weeping wind belter. I could see its bl
I got within three feet of the creature and stopped. “Greetings. I’m Juno. And I’d advise you most strongly not to touch the wonderful witch I arrived with. I’m her protector, and she is mine.”
The weeping wind belter tilted its head from side to side in the most adorable fashion. Fluffy menace.
“You’ve caused a stir since coming to Crimson Cove. All that hard work destroying those gardens must be exhausting. How about you come home with us and have a break?”
“Home? More like prison,” the weeping wind belter hissed, its voice a deep nasally grumble.
“Animal control isn’t a prison. It’s nice there. And we have snacks.”
“All you want to do is capture and condemn.” The creature’s voice became a pale tremble of whisper on the wind.
I didn’t let its quiet ways fool me. This little ball of fluff was lethal. “I’ll admit, I believed the same until I got hired by them. Barney Hoffman runs this sector of animal control, and he’s a decent man. He makes sure all animals in his care are treated fairly. Wouldn’t you like a home with someone to take care of you? You wouldn’t need to skulk in the shadows or worry about where your next meal was coming from. You’d be warm and loved.”
The black eyes grew glossy. “Who would want this? Unlovable.”
“Everyone who sees you thinks you’re adorable. And you are when you’re not whipping up whirlwinds or burning someone’s face off with your tears. You just need to adjust your behavior a bit, and you’ll find a happy home.”
“They need to adjust their behavior! The skinny one who stinks of wet dog grabbed me. Rude!”
“My apologies for that experience. Oleander isn’t known for his good manners. He made a mistake. We all do.”
“What about the one who blasted me with the lightning? He wants me dead. Not a friend.”
I glanced over my shoulder at Randal. “He has a heart of pure gold, but his equipment doesn’t always work.” I took a step closer. “It’s our job to keep animals safe but also to stop them from hurting others. Come back with us, and we’ll find you the right place to live. Somewhere where your wind can whirl free.”
The creature snarled and lunged at me. Before it could whip me off my feet with a blast of power, a spell wrapped around it and suspended it in the air. It hissed and howled, punched and parried the magic, but the spell held firm, and the weeping wind belter was trapped.
I turned to see Zandra’s arms outstretched and magic pouring from her fingertips.
She looked at me and winked.
Her power had changed since I’d gifted her some of my magic. It was stronger with a darker edge and had given her a new confidence.
I was glad I’d assisted my witch and ensured we’d lived to fight another day after dealing with a tricky demon, who enjoyed stealing bodies and wearing their skins, but in doing so, I’d lost a dream I’d held onto for so long. Now it was out of my reach.
Having gifted power to Zandra, I could never get back everything I’d lost. Would that mean I’d never return to my former glory? It was a question I was figuring out.
“Let me at that evil little monster. It owes me a new face!” Oleander was crawling toward the weeping wind belter on his hands and knees, his eyes bloodshot and tiny burn marks marring his cheeks.
I flicked a spell at him, which knocked him back down. “No revenge for you. Let’s get this animal back to base and find it something to eat. It must be starving.”
Glenda stalked over on her high black heels and slung an arm around Zandra’s shoulders. “Good work, partner. The drinks are on me.”
Half an hour later, and after we had secured the weeping wind belter in a comfy pen at animal control, we headed to the local bar next to Torrin Conner’s garage, and Glenda ordered a round of witches’ brews for the team.
“What are you celebrating?” Finn and Acer, Angel Force recruits, and Torrin, wandered over to the table we’d sat around.
“A successful capture.” Oleander’s face looked less pink after he’d applied a healing balm to his burns. “I had to make sure the ladies could manage a dangerous creature that was on the loose. We don’t want them getting scared and screaming the place down.”
Finn smirked. “I’m sure you were your usual knight in shining armor.”
“He spent most of the time rolling about on the ground and complaining,” I said.
“Typical Oleander style.” Glenda kicked out a chair. “Join us.”
They all grabbed chairs and settled around the table.
“What did you capture?” Acer was a new recruit at Angel Force and still on her probation period, but she was shaping up nicely, and I enjoyed her affable nature.
“A weeping wind belter,” I said. “Adorable, but deadly. We’ll find it the perfect home after a short period of rehabilitation.”
“You can’t rehabilitate some creatures,” Oleander grumbled. “That thing was half-crazed. It tried to bite off my nose.”
“You mishandled it,” I said. “You’re lucky you only got mild burns on your arms and face.”
Oleander rubbed a finger against a pink mark on his skin. “It’s not my fault my presence freaked it out. It must have guessed what I’d do to it if it misbehaved.”
“Get on your knees and beg to be saved?” Finn said.
“Roll around like a clumsy Giant Panda?” Glenda flashed her eyebrows up at me. Her werewolf hearing was exquisite.
Oleander grabbed his drink off the table. “I’m going to find better company. You all suck.” He stalked away.
“That guy can’t take a joke.” Glenda chuckled.
The group sipped their drinks and chatted about how their days had been.
“Everything okay?” Zandra leaned closer to Acer.
She stopped pulling apart a beer mat and rubbed her palms together slowly. “Sure. I mean, my family is coming for a visit. They’re staying a few days and rented that empty mansion over on Fairy Lane. The one with the stone lions out the front.”
“Fancy,” I said.
“Showy.” Acer’s bottom lip jutted out.
“They’re the reason we’re here so soon after our shift ended.” Finn joined in the conversation. “Acer needed to unwind before the family reunion.”
“You don’t get on with your family?” I said.
Acer sighed and picked at the edge of another beer mat. “It’s complicated. I love them, but they aren’t always great to be around. And they expect a lot from me. Especially my dad.”
I nodded wisely. “You can’t always pick your family.”
“Funnily enough, they did pick me. I’m adopted, along with my four siblings. There’s me, Rabdos, Laylah, Micah, and Forfax. They’re all coming, too.”
“It must be nice to have so many siblings.”
“Yeah, it was okay. Sometimes, it was fun. But...”
“I get it,” Finn said. “Half-angel children often have a rough time of it. There’s a high chance of rejection by our birth parents because we’re a mishmash. A lot of half-angels get dumped into care, and few of them get adopted. The stigma that we’re unlucky is so dumb, but it sticks.”
Acer’s lips thinned. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful a family wanted me, but I didn’t get any choice what kind of family I was going into.”
“If you’d had a choice, would you have picked a different family?” Acer was oozing tension. Every family had its problems, but there was usually something to look forward to when you saw them.
“My parents are different. They’re...” Acer’s gaze went to the door as the bar quietened.
A group of half-angels stood with their wings partially opened as they inspected the bar and everyone in it.
Acer jumped to her feet and gulped. “That’s them. My family loves to make an impression.”
Chapter 2
Daddy issues
Acer stepped forward and bumped the table with her hip, almost knocking over everyone’s drinks.
She grabbed the edge and steadied it. “Sorry. I... I should go say hello.”
“You should take a few deep breaths.” Zandra caught hold of Acer’s hand. “It’ll be okay. I always get tense when I see my family, too.”
“Which you barely ever do,” I muttered.
