I hate nate, p.1
I Hate Nate, page 1
I HATE NATE
MELANIE TING
Copyright © 2022 by Melanie Ting
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-9991926-7-9
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Cover by Melanie Ting adapted from a design by Murphy Rae Design
Editing by Kimberly Cannon
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No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Created with Vellum
CONTENTS
Vancouver Vice
1. Freaky Friday
2. The Edge of Seventeen
3. Pretty in Pink
4. Fired Up
5. Superbad
6. Mean Girls
7. What a Girl Wants
8. She’s All That
9. Risky Business
10. Jawbreaker
11. Booksmart
12. Save the Last Dance
13. The Breakfast Club
14. Better Luck Tomorrow
15. Brick
16. Bring It On
17. Bring It On Again
18. The Half of It
19. Euphoria
20. Adventures in Babysitting
21. Cruel Intentions
22. The Spectacular Now
23. The Perfect Date
24. Breaker High
25. Veronica Mars
26. Do Revenge
27. Dazed and Confused
28. Clueless
29. To All the Boys I’ve Loved
30. Say Anything
31. Can’t Hardly Wait
32. Pitch Perfect
33. Bonus Chapter
Afterword
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by Melanie Ting
VANCOUVER VICE
Vancouver Vice players in this book
* * *
Player/Nickname
Nate Jones/Jonesy
Marty Devonshire/Devo
T.J. Amato/ T.J.
Seb Söderlund /Sods
Todd Cerny/Todd the Bod
Rico Aleppo/Lepper
Marcus Fox/Foxy
Paul Thiebault(captain)/Tibbs
Mark Pillsbury/Doughy
Lionel Entwistle
Jas Singh/Singer
Marc-Andre Boileau/Boiler
Eric Fairburn/Burner
Dave Dominick/Dom
Cedric Williams /Wills
Josh Craig /Craggy
Gabe Olsson/Ollie
Hank Gill/Gilly
Jim Park/Parks
* * *
Leo Gauthier/Goats/Head Coach
Ian Lee/Assistant Coach
Chris Luczak/Lucky /VP Hockey Ops
Amanda Richardson/VP Business Ops
1
FREAKY FRIDAY
Camille Salang
* * *
Naked and handcuffed to a bed wasn’t the best time to decide to break up, but I’ve never been someone who planned ahead.
Bill’s blue plaid boxer shorts were the last straw.
As he sat at the end of his bed and pulled off his khakis to reveal navy dress socks and those stupid boxers, I got upset. How many times had I worn special lingerie at his request, but he couldn’t remember to buy some nice boxer briefs? I was a very visual person.
This was the first time we were acting out one of my fantasies and the mood was already crushed. I was so done here.
“Bill,” I said. “Tomato.”
His longish hair flipped as he jerked his head around. “The safe word? But I just cuffed you. Does it hurt or something?”
“Take the handcuffs off. Please,” I added.
“Oh, okay. Where did I put the key?”
He searched every pocket of his pants before realizing it was in his shirt pocket. That was another strike against him. He acted like cuffing me was a crime. I wasn’t into S&M or rape fantasies, I just liked feeling helpless. But that fantasy didn’t work when Bill kept asking if everything was all right. Once we started, he was supposed to take over.
Right now, my only fantasy was getting out of here.
“Hurry up,” I said.
“Aww, baby. We haven’t even done it yet,” he pleaded. His eyes went up and down my body and then his cock tented out of those stupid boxers. It was all so predictable. “You look hot right now.”
“I always look hot.” I jangled my wrists, and he finally unlocked the right cuff. There was a clanging as the metal of the cuffs hit the wrought iron of the bedpost. Ugh. I flipped my freed hand around to get the circulation going. I had wanted the fuzzy cuffs in hot pink, but no, Bill insisted on the “realistic” leather and metal ones. But he wasn’t the one wearing them.
He leaned over to unlock the other side. As his body hovered over mine, I breathed in the tobacco scent of his expensive cologne. It reminded me of overflowing ashtrays, and I recoiled a little.
“Is something wrong?” Bill asked.
I couldn’t hold back any longer. “Yeah, this isn’t working out. Us.”
“What?” He sat back on his heels. “Camille, what are you talking about? We’re so good together. You’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had. I even introduced you to my mother!”
Bringing up that event wasn’t making his case. Mrs. Fletcher had been a total snob who let me know exactly how lucky I was to be dating Bill.
“I don’t know. We’re just not compatible.” As in, I’m fun and you’re not. The problem was that I was attracted to guys with qualities like reliability, stability, and self-control. Strengths that I admired—mostly because I didn’t have them. But those qualities were boring in the long run.
“Not compatible? Of course we’re different. That’s the nature of male/female dynamics.” Bill’s tone was lecturing and whining at the same time, which was doubly irritating.
I tried to sit up, but my cuffed wrist pulled me back. “Look, undo me first. It’s impossible to talk like this.”
“If I free you, you’ll leave.” He scowled and his lower lip jutted out. “I don’t want to break up.”
Well, he was no dummy. The millisecond I was uncuffed, I would be dressed and outtie. Once I decided to break up, it was over. What was the point of autopsying something that was already dead?
Our emotional standoff was broken by a familiar ringtone.
“Oh shit. That’s work.” Like a robot, he rose and picked up his phone from the bedside table. “Bill Fletcher. Sure, Donny. No, you’re not interrupting anything.”
Excuse me??? I jangled my captured wrist, but he was already in zombie work-mode.
“Let me get to my laptop and see if we can resolve this remotely.” He turned towards the door.
“Bill, noooo!” I screeched. But he plodded out and the last thing I saw was his blue plaid butt. How long would he be gone now? His job as a systems administrator for a large financial firm meant that he got urgent work calls at odd times. That was the downside of a real career—apparently you were never off the clock.
Damn. If only I had waited five more seconds to mention breakups. Now I had to lie here until he finished guiding some clueless coworker through their stupid computer problems. And then he’d keep whining and pleading before he released me. That would be a torture worse than whips and chains.
Maybe I could free myself? I wriggled my wrist and tried to pull my hand out, but no dice. And pulling on the chain only made my arm sore.
“Why does it always look so easy on detective shows?” I muttered. Veronica Mars would have unlocked the handcuff with a nail file by now. Wait, did I have any tools? My purse was far away, but my clothes were lying beside the bed. I spotted a bulge in my jeans pocket: my phone.
Perfect. I could call my sister to come and get me. That would speed things up.
Easier said than done though. First I had to get the jeans. I stretched my foot towards the jeans. No dice. Okay, maybe if I rolled my body closer. I extended my leg as far as it would go—ugh, to have model-length legs right now. Just a little more…and success! My big toe landed on denim. I pulled on the jeans. It took ages, but finally I grabbed my phone.
I exhaled in triumph and dialled Elaine. But her phone went straight to messaging.
“Ugh. What a time to need privacy.” My older sister was soooooo responsible, why would she shut down her phone? Oh right, because we had planned a complicated lie so both of us could sleep over at our boyfriends’ places without Mom knowing. It was ridiculous that we were in our twenties and still scheming to stay out. How many times had she lectured us about men not respecting women who slept with them before commitment?
Mom had no clue what it was like to be young and dating in the 21st century. Women were equal to men, and that included the freedom to hook up. I did a mental eye roll as I called Marty Devonshire, Elaine’s boyfriend. Unfortunately, he didn’t answer either. He was too busy respecting the heck out of my sister.
Okay, one last option left. How desperately did I want to get out of here?
Answer: very desperately.
I exhaled and dialled my last resort.
A cheerful voice answered. “Is this a booty call, Peaches? Did you finally come to your senses and decide you want to do me?”
Marty played hockey for the Vancouver Vice, and his roommate was his teammate, Nate Jones. Nate was ridiculously persistent, but he was the last person I’d go out with. Or stay in with. He even had a nickname for me, which I refused to ask about since it must be sexual. Everything was about sex with Nate.
I heard Bill moving around in the living room and dropped my voice to a whisper, “I’m trying to get a hold of my sister and she’s not answering. Can you knock on the door and tell her it’s an emergency?”
“Uh, well, I’m not actually at home. I’m playing poker at Lepper’s place. Marty asked for a little privacy tonight. Did you know your sister is a screamer?”
“Oh god, don’t tell me stuff like that. I can’t un-hear it. What am I going to do?”
“Do about what? Why are you whispering? Is something wrong?”
“Yes. My boyfriend won’t let me leave. He knows I’m going to break up with him, so…” My voice trailed off because I really didn’t want to explain my situation to Nate, of all people.
“Are you kidding me? Is he hurting you? What a sick fuck. I’ll be right over to get you,” he declared and then hung up.
I did my second eye-roll of the night and turned my phone to mute. One minute later, it vibrated.
“Uh, Camille. Where are you?”
“Look, he’s not hurting me. We were doing this bondage thing, and I’m cuffed to the bed. I mentioned breaking up at the wrong time, so now he wants to talk me out of it.”
“Oh.” Nate thought this over. “So, where is he?”
“He’s on the phone in the living room. Working.”
Nate laughed. “Y’know, I can’t believe you won’t go out with me, but you’re dating this complete loser.”
“Stop it. Unit 34. 2140 Beta Street.” There was no point telling off the guy who could rescue me from this stupid predicament. “Bill Fletcher is the name on the buzzer.”
“Is this going to get weird?” Nate asked. “He doesn’t have a gun or anything, does he?”
“Not unless you count the controller for his PS4,” I said. “You could take him easily. You are a hockey player.” Whatever his personality defects, Nate had an excellent body: big, muscular, and totally cut.
“Okay. Sit tight.” Nate snickered. “Like you can do anything else. Hey, are you naked? Or are you wearing one of those tiny leather outfits?”
I hung up. Yikes. It was one thing to be naked in front of Bill, but another to be naked in front of a horndog like Nate. If Nate found me naked and chained to a bed, he would have sex first and ask questions later. That turned me on in a way that Bill’s playacting never had, and I shook my head to get rid of the disgusting thought.
I began worming my way into my skinny jeans, but with only one hand it was tough. Too bad I hadn’t worn my boyfriend jeans. As I finished zipping them up, Bill returned and sat beside me.
“I’m so sorry about that. Donny always has the same issue with his—hey, how did you get into your jeans?” he asked, looking down with confusion.
“With difficulty. Now will you undo me?”
He shook his head. “Not until we talk. Is your period due or something? Because you’re not being rational. We’ve got a good thing here. Maybe I’m jumping the gun, but I can see us having a future—once you settle down and find a real job, of course. I know women want commitment but there are stages for these things.”
Seriously? How many ways had he just insulted me?
“Here’s a tip for your next relationship, Bill. Don’t tell a woman all the things that are wrong with her while she’s trying to break up with you. Now, uncuff me.”
He frowned. “You mean the period stuff? But that’s the only logical explanation. I know you’re into me. Last weekend, we talked about living together.”
Ugh, were we going to relive our whole relationship? This was why quick breakups ruled. “We never said anything like that.”
He nodded with eyes wide and owlish. “We did. I said, ‘Too bad you live at home and can’t sleep over anytime you want.’ You said, ‘Yes.’ Then I said, ‘If you lived here that would solve that problem.’ And I meant that.”
I tried to sit up again but fell back onto the bed. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, that was just conversation.”
He leaned forward and took my free hand. “I’m not like other guys, Camille. I mean every word I say. You’re so pretty and so much fun. I feel like my life has improved ever since we began going out.”
The utter ridiculousness of this situation struck me, and I began to giggle. Bill was holding my hand and acting like this was some normal, romantic situation—but I was half-naked and chained to his bed. Wasn’t this the exact scene from a horror movie?
“Why are you laughing?” he demanded. “I’m really upset here.”
Oh no. If I didn’t watch out, I’d never get out of here. I made my expression solemn and stifled my inner scream. And for the first time ever, I wished Nate Jones were here.
2
THE EDGE OF SEVENTEEN
Nate Jones
* * *
“Sorry, boys, I gotta jet,” I said as I gathered up my winnings and stuffed them into the pocket of my leather jacket.
“No fair, you can’t leave while you’re ahead,” said T.J. Amato. I played on the top line of the AHL Vancouver Vice with T.J. and Seb Soderlund, and we were best buds off the ice too.
“To be fair, Jonesy hardly ever wins,” said Rico Aleppo. Lepper was hosting this poker party in his condo.
“And that’s why we love playing with him,” T.J. said. “The guy never knows when to fold. But, seriously, you can’t leave poker night for some booty call.”
“It’s not a booty call,” I said, even though I had my hopes. “I’m rescuing a damsel in distress.”
“Who is she and why the fuck is she in distress?” Sods asked. His English was accented with Swedish and profanity.
“It’s Camille Salang and her boyfriend won’t let her…go.” I wasn’t telling these horndogs that she was handcuffed to a bed or they’d want to ride along just for the view.
“That doesn’t sound right. If he’s holding her against her will, you should call the police.” Lepper was a big worrier.
“Ehhh, it’s not quite that serious. She just needs a ride home,” I hedged.
“Why isn’t Marty getting her? She’s Elaine’s sister, right?” said Foxy. Marcus Fox was a wide-eyed rookie and a good guy.
“Marty’s busy with Elaine,” I said. That explanation was greeted by hoots and rude remarks.
“But Marty would be a better person to rescue someone. He looks big and scary,” Foxy said.
Marty was the team enforcer and looked menacing enough, although he was a big pussycat.
“Don’t I look scary? I’m big enough,” I protested. I was 6’2” and built. Jesus, I spent enough time in the gym.
T.J. shook his head. “You’re as scary as a little puppy dog. Have you even had a hockey fight?”
“I’m a lover, not a fighter.” Sure, I’d been in a few skirmishes after the whistle, but I’d never dropped the gloves for real. There was a skill to fighting and not everyone had it. I ran a hand across my jaw. “Don’t want to mess up a good-looking face like this.”
My buddies groaned in response.
“Jonesy, maybe you should have a backup plan,” Lepper suggested. “In case things go south.”
That wasn’t a bad idea. “Like what?” I wondered.
“Why don’t you pretend to be a cop?” Foxy said.
“How? Just say so?” I asked.
Foxy shook his head. “Your clothes don’t look right.”
“No cop wears jeans that tight,” T.J. said.
Lepper rooted around in his closet and found a Gortex jacket in bright yellow. “Wear this with your black Vice ball cap and you’re good to go.”
